Peek-a-boo Skirt

I just finished a new little skirt for Caeti. It was fairly easy to make. I think it took me longer to decide on the fabric then to actually sew it. I originally bought this fabric to make curtains. The look on my hubby's face when I brought it home was one of horror, so it got thrown into my stash and has been waiting ever so patiently for me to be inspired. 

I didn't have a pattern, just a vision. Which is usually how I roll. I'm pleased with how it turned out. 

Mina wants one too, so if anyone asks for it I could do a tutorial. Just remember I'm NOT a professional seamstress, more like a ghetto seamstress. ^-^

I had to bribe her with a cookie to let me take a picture of her standing still.

Apron Skirt

First and foremost I'd like to say thank you for all the comments and emails I've received lately. They have made a huge difference in this difficult time. I'm working through it and knowing there are people who want me to be happy is a huge inspiration and relief to me. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Today I'm feeling good. The morning started out great. The hubby made breakfast for the girls and let me sleep then we all cuddled in bed and watched My Neighbor Totoro. Fantasic way to start the day. Afterwards, the girls and I got crafty while the hubby fixed the side gate. 

I made an apron skirt for my little cousin a while back and finally had the motivation to make one for Miss Mina, who is currently referred to as Broken Girl. She fell off her bunk bed and broke both bones in her wrist a week ago, in case you were wondering how it happened.

My little cousin's skirt

Refreshed.

Me that is. I'm finally ready to be honest with myself, and you.

I have a problem with depression. I have days where I don't get out of bed, except to change a diaper or get food for the girls. I have days where I feel like crying for NO reason, all day long. Sometimes when I'm in an especially fabulous mood, I write my self sweet little lists of all the reasons I'm the most worthless, useless piece of crap on the planet.

And now I'm done. I'm sick of it. I don't want to be that girl anymore. I don't want to feel alone, even when surrounded by others. I want to be one of those people who is thankful for each day, not looking forward to bedtime as soon as my eyes open.

I feel like screaming.
Maybe it's joy, maybe it's the last of all the hurt and anger in me. I just want to let it out, let it go and move forward. There's nothing in the past for me. Barely even memories.

 I have never been completely honest. Ever. with anyone. Not even myself. And I'm so sorry for that.
No one really knows me. Because I don't really know me. That's sad. I want friends. I want a best friend.
How can I raise my girls to happy, well adjusted people when I'm not? I want more for them than the empty black feeling that has been me for so long. I want the moon and the stars and the sky for them. And with my brain as crazy eff-ed up as it has been, there is no way I can provide those things for them.

This right here is me taking back control of my happily ever after. This is me grabbing this bright hot feeling in my chest and I'm not letting go. Never again. I'm going to LIVE, not just exist.
This is me!
I'll never be perfect but I can be happy.
And I will. No one and nothing will stop me.

Upcycled dress- Adios Dora, Hello Kitty

 I finally finished upcycling this dress. It's only been waiting for it since 2009. Can you say procrastination? I would but I have so many other things to do.

 

Before

I love the ruffle-y colorful skirt.

But the peeling Dora had to go.

After

 

I used the original piece as a pattern for the new Hello Kitty top and reused the bias tape.

She ♥s her new "ello meow" dress.

& so do I. ^-^

This is me lacking

On motivation.
On creativity.
On patience.
On just about everything.

I seriously have 5 half started dresses and no plan to ever finish any of them.
I'm still not unpacked completely.
Despite HOURS of work I think our yard might actually look worse than when we moved in.
Etc, etc, etc.

Maybe I can get my crap together and get some stuff done today.
Who am I kidding? I really don't see that happening. I foresee Netflix and my bed. Is anyone else just burned out on life? Am I the only one who just feels, defeated? I feel like I'm running in a race that someone else already won. And I'm still at the starting line.