Monday, April 30, 2012

Sucky Awesome Sunday

Too bad I have zero social skills & a big fat mouth. I think I just scared away one of my very few friends. I suck. Cue, depression snacking, moodiness & insomnia.
Anyways, I hit the pavement this morning for the first time in months. I only did a mile. It felt good. I took it easy and walked .3 mile to warm up, then ran .3, then walked .6 and ran the last .6. It was a bit of a challenge since I have found my rhythm yet but I hope to be running a full mile by mid-May.

I worked on my serger for a while earlier. It's closer to fixed. The lower looper is still getting tangled because it's out of sync. I ran out of patience and had a hungry baby so I put it aside until tomorrow, which I am totally ready for. I love my hubby, a lot, but having him home on the weekends throws off my regular routine which makes me cranky. He did a lot of yard work and the back yard looks so much better. The garden fence is almost finished which is exciting because I really want to replant beets, chard, spinach and tomatoes and NOT have chickens eat all the seeds and/or little sprouts.

On a happier note, my big Little Man is now 7 weeks old, 26.5 inches & 12 1/2 pounds. That's up 6.5 inches & 4 pounds from birth. And he's hecka awesome.
Rockin the Stache.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Truth Tuesday: I'm joining in Operation Kick My Own Ass

I have a huge ass. It's true. And it's not one of those nice J.Lo-esque type booties. It's a fat, flat, I-just-gave-birth-6-weeks-ago booty. And it has to go!
Today is the first day I worked out since I was 7 months pregnant. I started really slow this morning with squats, lunges, jumping jacks, planks & wall sits. And let me just say, damn! It kicked my ass. I took a picture of my fat ass self today. I've been avoiding looking at myself lately but it's actually not as bad as I thought. I've lost 30 of 60 pounds I gained with Wes. I'm close to my pre-pregnancy waist size but my hips & thighs are way bigger.

My plan is to work out 15-30 minutes a day, 6 days a week, working different muscle groups every day. I'm not quite ready to lace up my running shoes yet but I'm hoping to be back out on the pavement by May 12th. My second goal is to lose at least 5 lbs by then too. I've uped my H2O consumption, cut my meal portions, started taking a fiber supplement, replaced my mid morning chocolate with hot tea & a protein bar and my afternoon snack from graham crackers smothered in pb to a nutrition bar & watered down V8 fruit fusion. Now I just have to hold myself accountable. My will power when it comes to food is just above zero. Especially on bad depression days. I feel like crap, so I might have given myself a Starburst pick-me-up earlier. See? Failing already. I suck.

Check out what Lisa of Crazy Adventures in Parenting, the ring leader behind Truth Tuesday & Operation Kick My Own Ass (OpKMOA) is up to.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Home, 1 year later

One year ago marks the first night we spent in our house.
Crazy to think 366 days have gone by.
And I'm still unpacking.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Truth Tuesday 2

Today I want to talk about me & my battle with depression. I feel a little bad calling it a battle because a lot of people have it way worse that I do but it is something I struggle with almost daily. It took me a long time to admit it and even longer to get help. I'm doing better now that I'm on Zoloft and cutting myself some slack. I had it in my head that as a stay at home mom my house should be spotless like on TV, something that is impossible to do if you live in a house with kids. I could literally spend 8 hours straight cleaning and work through every room in my house but as soon as I leave a child comes through and dumps out all the Barbies. Or uses every color in the rainbow to decor my walls, carpet and sofa. Or spills her entire bowl of cereal on the kitchen floor. And the more time I spend cleaning the bigger mess they make because they are bored & want my attention. Which I totally don't get because I think I'm kind of boring and dumb. I totally don't know how to play anymore. My Barbie always says the wrong things (like "Sorry, I can't go camping. I'm busy doing all this laundry." or "I'm making broccoli!") & I want to play Candyland by the rules not just make my little man cartwheel across the board and pretend to eat the candy castle. But despite my shortcomings they still want to play with me. Which I'm starting to figure out is a blessing. I'm slowly learning how to let go of my idea of "perfect" and just enjoy what I have. My kids are teaching me what perfect really is. Yes it can be a clean house and nutritious dinner but it's also grubby hands from finding "nature" and giggling until you cry because apparently the word fart is the funniest thing ever. It's those sweaty, sleepy snuggles from an tired 2 year old and private dance recitals by a budding ballerina.
 It's every second of everyday. And some days I will forget that fact but I hope those days will be few and far between. This is what I've been reminding myself with.

Song for a Fifth Child
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

Thanks again Lisa for sharing your awesomeness with me.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Truth Tuesday

He is the love of my life.
I already know he has a "Get Out Of Jail Free Card" with me.
I love how he grabs handfuls of my hair in his sleep and holds on like he'll never let go.
I like that I'm his favorite person in the world.
I really wish I could freeze time and keep him my baby forever. 

I also wish that my 2 year old was 5 already so I could send her off to kindergarten and have a break from her. I love her but damn does that kid have mood swings that wear me out.

My Mina Squirrel, she is my mini-me. I'm kind of sad she will be 5 soon and will start kindergarten in the fall. She is my little helper girl and has saved my sanity on more than one occasion.

Join in with Lisa at Crazy Adventures in Parenting. She is totally sweet and awesome and my personal "Mom-model". I wish we were neighbors.


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