A bit of this & that

Lately there's been a lot of this

Babywearing & coffee

Toddler-wearing & cleaning

Kindergartener-wearing & football watching

Sleepy babywearing

Cranky babywearing & walking

And quite a bit of 

Chickens taking over my back patio

Egg collecting

And some

Sea scallops sauteed in turmeric, cayenne & coconut oil

Finishing a small quilt for my niece

Crocheted owl hat for my cousin's little girl

Crocheted Monkey hat for the hubby's cousin's little girl

 And a little bit of this

Apple the Pocket Pixie

& not nearly enough of this!

Sleeping somewhere other than on me

Wordless Wednesday

This is my heart.

I am Anonymous

One of the things I like about blogging is the anonymity. I feel safe enough disclosing many things about my self that I wouldn't otherwise share. I'm not good at being vulnerable.

I feel like I am being crushed slowly. 

I wasn't one of those people who had their entire lives planned out but this is not where I imagined I'd be at 24. I didn't think I'd have kids until I was 25. I imagine life so much different & exciting. Yes, I have many regrets. The fact that I didn't go to college right after high school. How I never got to be irresponsible & carefree. How I was too ignorant to research the best way to raise my kids. In high school I thought I'd party, relax & occasionally attend class at a community college. Instead I got pregnant at 18, had a baby at 19, got married 6 weeks later, turned 21, got pregnant again, bought a house & got pregnant for a third time.

Is anyone else where I am? I do not regret my children at all, and I never will, they are the 3 most amazing people ever. I feel like I'm failing them though. I don't know who I am or who I'm supposed to be anymore. I'm not the out going rebel I was or the well adjusted, politically astute person I thought I'd be. 


Sometimes I wonder if I married too young. Are my husband and I really right for each other? I have developed very strong beliefs that he just doesn't seem to understand or support.


I try to be a good wife & listen to him talk about his interests and I swear I can read his mind 75% of the time but I need the same thing back from him & I don't get it. 
Am I crazy or is this normal?

I guess basically what this random and semi-cohesive post is my recent uncertainties of whether I really matter and am valued. Consider it an "If a tree falls in the woods" type of thing.

Just Biding My Time

Lately, I've been drained. My depression has been sucking every last bit of energy out of me. But you know what? It's okay. This isn't going to last forever and when it's over the sun will be that much brighter. It's not as bad as it use to be a year ago. I have many moments throughout the day that I enjoy. Cuddling my boy, watching Caet jump like a frog, Mina concocting elaborate princess games, making pizza. But I just have no energy or patience for things like dishes, laundry, crafting, moving (physical activity not houses) & bickering. I would be completely content to sit on the sofa all day, in fact I have on a few days. My house looks like a bunch of tornadoes yet through it but my house will be waiting for me to clean up when I'm feeling better. All the energy I have now I'm trying to focus on my kids. Hopefully I'll be ready to craft soon because this poor blog is seriously in need of some project updating. But until I get something done, I'll just share a few pics of the happy moments I've snapped lately.

Mina and her Maran chick named Fluffy Cheeks. 

 

 

 

 

 

We have another chick named Fuzzibunz too, plus our 3 adult birds.

 

 

 

 

Weston & his cousin Easton. I love that they are 4 months apart and will get to grow up together. And that they both have the cutest fluffy butts.

My kidlets

Flats Challenge - days 3,4 & 5 & 6/7

Bad blogger! Bad! Yeah, I'm falling behind it my updates. So here's a quick catch-up of the days I missed posting.

Day 3- My favorite way to use flats.
Kite fold. Hands down. I've tried the pad, Jo & origami folds but they just do not work for us.

Day 4- How am I doing?
Great. I've gotten lazy and have started washing when I have 4 (or more) flats to wash. I also added 2 more Thirsties covers to my rotation because I didn't want to go get one off the line the other night. Or this morning. Lazzzzziness. But I honestly don't mind the hand washing. Also I love the trimness of the flats and will keep using them on a regular basis & handwashing them fairly often.

Day 5- What have I learned?
It is so nice to be able to hand the boy off to daddy for diaper changes. But he only does pockets or AIOs. So I have been the exclusive butt wiper lately. Has anyone else's hubby/partner/baby daddy not even tried to learn to use the flats because it "looks too hard?" All in all I think that anyone could do this but many people will just be too lazy. It takes work and we live in a very lazy time. Drive-thrus, ready made food & disposable everything runs rampant now-a-days.

Days 6 & 7- I've got this down now. We've figured out what works for us & I'm still enjoying the challenge. Everyone I talk to probably hates me because I'm even more of a cloth advocate now and want to share my experience with everyone I meet. Our pediatrician thought it was kind of awesome. She is the sweetest woman ever. She said she wishes she had tried cloth on her kids. Anyways I'm getting off track. So I am officially a flat lover. Prefolds are great but I think I'll continue using flats and handwashing them during the days sometimes. But first thing tomorrow morning I'm slapping a Fuzzibunz pocket on my boy and dancing in front of my washing machine when I wash my first diaper load!

Flats Day 2 - My Stash & On-The-Go

I am taking part in the Second Annual Flats and Handwashing Challenge hosted by Dirty Diaper Laundry.  For 7 days I will be using only flat cloth diapers and handwashing them in an effort to prove that cloth diapering can be affordable and accessible to all.  You can learn more about the rules and why this challenge was started by visiting the announcement post.  This year there are over 450 participants from all over the world!  


Today was a big day for us. My 4 year old "graduated" from preschool & Weston had his 2 month well baby check. I was not nervous about going out in flats, just curious how they would do. The answer is, fine. I noticed absolutely no difference from the prefolds we usually use while running errands.

So here's what my Flats stash consists of,
10 Gerber birdseye flats
5 Walmart Mainstays flour sack kitchen towels (purchased today, not yet used.)
1 wash cloth doubler
1 tshirt rag doubler
2 Snappis
2 Thirsties covers size 1
1 Econobum cover
1 woolie
10ish Circo brand baby wash cloths as wipes
1 small homemade wet bag
1 medium homemade wet bag
Washing in Planet Ultra liquid.

2nd Annual Flats & Handwashing Challenge - Day 1

I am taking part in the Second Annual Flats and Handwashing Challenge hosted by Dirty Diaper Laundry.  For 7 days I will be using only flat cloth diapers and handwashing them in an effort to prove that cloth diapering can be affordable and accessible to all.  You can learn more about the rules and why this challenge was started by visiting the announcement post.  This year there are over 450 participants from all over the world! 

Well day 1 is almost over & I think it went pretty well. I have a feeling today will be the hardest day of the challenge as I am new to flats & just figuring out what works best for me. I tried several different folds today including, kite, origami & pad. After several uses of each I've decided the kite fold folded around another flat  that is folded into a small rectangle works best for us. My little man is a bit of a heavy wetter and this gives us plenty of absorbency.
I also washed 2 different ways today. First, I let the dipes pile up and chucked them in the tub after rinsing the few that needed it. I washed them by stomping the crap out of them (literally). It worked fine but I felt like it wasn't the most time efficient way to do it. For the rest of the day I decided to wash the diapers right after changing when I washed my hands. Way easier.

Time comparison: It took me about 25 minutes to wash 6 flats (4 changes worth) & 1 cover in the tub vs. 2-3 minutes for a wet or 3-4 minutes for a dirty dipe. Plus I only have 10 Gerber flats at the moment, so washing them as I go is better for me.

I ♥ my laundry line. Especially when it looks all cute like this.

 I also busted out my woolie for the first time last night & let me just say, I'm in love. I've been too nervous to try it out before now since I'm clueless to the care of it but having this great support group has encouraged me to go for it. I know if I have any questions someone on the board will have an answer for me.

Really bad poetry(?) aka wishing kids didn't grow during my emotional time of the month

Lets go back many moons ago
To a night of sleepy sighs,
soft downy heads and milky breath
as we cuddled in my bed.


Tiny fingers tangle in my curls
As I snuggle you so tight
I dream that I could keep you small
I wish it on every star, every night.

 

Oh Craft.

I am having difficulty finding more than 5 minutes at a time to sit down and work on a project. So on Mother's Day I told the family I was going to finish a project so Daddy was on duty! I'd been wanting to start this cute little sunhat by Jessica from Running With Scissors that she guest posted on Living with Punks for over 2 weeks.

 The tutorial was super easy to follow and she provides a printable pattern in 3 sizes also. I choose to leave off the little ruffle and ribbon since I was making it for my boy. The Marvel comic book fabric begged me to buy it last time I was at Jo-Ann Fabrics & it has been sitting & waiting for me to figure out what to do with it.

 

 I'm really happy with the hat. It's perfect for keeping the sun out of my little man's eyes. & now my girl each want one too. But pink ones. With no superheros.

 

 

On a completely separate note, this is my new favorite pic of my boy. He always makes the cutest little noise & smiles a lot in his sleep. Daddy & I have a theory about what he's dreaming of.

 This little man is 2 months old.

It seems like last week I was pushing. Time is just going by too quickly. I'm wiping tears from my eyes as I type. This is most likely my last baby. I want him to grow up healthy & strong, just not yet. I want him to stay little for a long time. 

But since that's not going to happen, I'm focused on enjoying every second of his sweet babyhood. Which is why I've spent so little time in front of my sewing machine or with a crochet hook in hand. We spend most of our day nursing, cuddling & watching private ballet shows produced by & starring his big sisters.
We are really enjoying cloth diapering. It is so much easier than I thought it would be and less messy, believe it or not! Even daddy doesn't mind as long as there are pre-stuffed pockets or AIOs when it's his turn to change a diaper. I'm pretty sure Wes likes having fluffy buns since he always kicks and coos like crazy when I change him. He also likes to help with the chores. His job is to sleep in the Moby Wrap, he takes it very seriously.
I feel truly blessed because Wes is such a good baby. He doesn't cry much, nurses like a champ, enjoys showers and doesn't mind hanging out on a blanket on the floor for a while. But most of the time he just sleeps. And since he smiles in his sleep a lot, I assume he's having sweet dreams.

I love you sweet Little Man.

Wordless Wednesday- Things I want to do

Source: flickr.com via Kristie on Pinterest

Source: thisismeinspired.blogspot.com via Kristie on Pinterest

Source: bhg.com via Kristie on Pinterest

Source: storiesofahouse.com via Kristie on Pinterest

Truth Tuesday -don't pretend you've never done it

Blogging on my iTouch with the baby in the moby wrap from the toilet while trying to ignore the 4 year old who knows I'm a captive audience and insists on telling me the entire plot of Tinkerbell. Happens more often than I'd care to admit. Just keepin' it real.

 

 

The offender

 For more Truth Tuesday head over to Crazy Adventures in Parenting.

OpKMOA update

I've only lost 3 pounds but I feel like I've lost more. I should take measurements. I feel like that may be a better way to track my progress. My ultimate goal is to get down to a size 6. That's half(!) my current size. Some of my pre-pregnancy pants can be buttoned again but they are still way to tight to wear. I've been watching what I eat & pumping a lot more. My workout is pretty simple & varies from day to day. Usually pilates type stuff and jump roping. I have gotten in two short runs. Each a mile or less.

Wordless Wednesday 2

Truth Tuesday- I hate my serger

For reals. I'm finally getting my crafty mojo back and it is driving me nuts! Why am I going nuts you might ask, because even though I'm finally kicking my depression's butt, and breaking out of my I-want-to-just crawl-into-a-dark-hole-and-sleep-forever-beacause-I-totally-suck-at-everything-and-am-a-failure-at-life phase, I can't make most of the stuff that is floating around in my head. Caeti broke my serger, as in snapped the upper looper in half, in February. I ordered the replacement piece & swapped the broken one for the shiny new one. I start serging and BAM! major thread mess & the machine jams up. Upon closer inspection, the new upper loop is NOT the same shape as the old one. Enter the hammer & pliers, hey don't judge my ghetto-ness, when a girl needs to serge, a girl needs to serge. So I bend that puppy into the correct shape & angle. And figure out that my timing is also off. Not by a little either. And do you know how many tutorials their are one adjusting the timing on your Singer 14SH654 Finishing Touch Serger? That would be ZERO! Please if you know of one send it to me asap! So currently my serger is dismantled & sitting on the table waiting for me to figure out what to do with it. I'm not going to take it to a repair shop because it will cost at least $90 to fix it and I only paid $89 for it. So hopefully I can fix it or I'll end up serger-less. At least until my birthday (December).

On a happier note here is my favorite shot of the week.

I'm pretty sure this is where the term "sleeping like a baby" came from.

It's love folks.

Drop Lisa of Crazy Adventures in Parenting, the brains behind Truth Tuesday, some love.

Sucky Awesome Sunday

Too bad I have zero social skills & a big fat mouth. I think I just scared away one of my very few friends. I suck. Cue, depression snacking, moodiness & insomnia.
Anyways, I hit the pavement this morning for the first time in months. I only did a mile. It felt good. I took it easy and walked .3 mile to warm up, then ran .3, then walked .6 and ran the last .6. It was a bit of a challenge since I have found my rhythm yet but I hope to be running a full mile by mid-May.

I worked on my serger for a while earlier. It's closer to fixed. The lower looper is still getting tangled because it's out of sync. I ran out of patience and had a hungry baby so I put it aside until tomorrow, which I am totally ready for. I love my hubby, a lot, but having him home on the weekends throws off my regular routine which makes me cranky. He did a lot of yard work and the back yard looks so much better. The garden fence is almost finished which is exciting because I really want to replant beets, chard, spinach and tomatoes and NOT have chickens eat all the seeds and/or little sprouts.


On a happier note, my big Little Man is now 7 weeks old, 26.5 inches & 12 1/2 pounds. That's up 6.5 inches & 4 pounds from birth. And he's hecka awesome.

Rockin the Stache.

Wordless Wednesday: Awesomeness

 

No More Interruptions, Let’s Take Back the Respect at CrazyAdventuresinParenting.com

Truth Tuesday: I'm joining in Operation Kick My Own Ass

I have a huge ass. It's true. And it's not one of those nice J.Lo-esque type booties. It's a fat, flat, I-just-gave-birth-6-weeks-ago booty. And it has to go!

Today is the first day I worked out since I was 7 months pregnant. I started really slow this morning with squats, lunges, jumping jacks, planks & wall sits. And let me just say, damn! It kicked my ass. I took a picture of my fat ass self today. I've been avoiding looking at myself lately but it's actually not as bad as I thought. I've lost 30 of 60 pounds I gained with Wes. I'm close to my pre-pregnancy waist size but my hips & thighs are way bigger.

Blah.

My plan is to work out 15-30 minutes a day, 6 days a week, working different muscle groups every day. I'm not quite ready to lace up my running shoes yet but I'm hoping to be back out on the pavement by May 12th. My second goal is to lose at least 5 lbs by then too. I've uped my H2O consumption, cut my meal portions, started taking a fiber supplement, replaced my mid morning chocolate with hot tea & a protein bar and my afternoon snack from graham crackers smothered in pb to a nutrition bar & watered down V8 fruit fusion. Now I just have to hold myself accountable. My will power when it comes to food is just above zero. Especially on bad depression days. I feel like crap, so I might have given myself a Starburst pick-me-up earlier. See? Failing already. I suck.

Check out what Lisa of Crazy Adventures in Parenting, the ring leader behind Truth Tuesday & Operation Kick My Own Ass (OpKMOA) is up to.

Home, 1 year later

One year ago marks the first night we spent in our house.
Crazy to think 366 days have gone by.
And I'm still unpacking.